¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Money is most need thing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-20 1021

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

Yes, we need to be wise with handling money. It can be very powerful and controlling. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I were a born to be rich, my parents they are learning to me how to use moeny good well.
>> If I was born rich, my parents would teach me how to handle money well. 

But If I were a poor and suddenly to be rich, it's very dangerous.
>> But if I were poor, I would want to be rich which can be dangerous. 

I don't know how to use money and I won't have any economic ideas either.
>> I won't know how to properly use money and I won't have any economic ideas for myself. 

Money is most need thing but if I don't have enough knowledge, really dangerous.
>> Money is something that we need but if I don't have enough knowledge to handle it, it can be dangerous. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114870 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 0
114869 What was your dream job when you were young? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 5
114868 miss ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 379
114867 What do you think should the government of South Korea do with... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 386
114866 homework. Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 291
114865 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 0
114864 Which is better, studying in a private school, public school or... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1007
114863 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 328
114862 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 383
114861 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 656
114860 Homework Ȳ*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 455
114859 Goverment¡¯s Action ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 351
114858 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1
114857 What is my favorite computer game ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 322
114856 What do you like watching with your family and friends? Tell me... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 288
114855 What is mannerism? Do you have mannerisms that you wanted to get... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1704
114854 fruits ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 403
114853 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1
114852 stress ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1388
114851 What\'s the best thing about having a family? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04