¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task: Do you think it is important to teach children about being healthy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À±
2022-01-21 935

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think it's important to teach children about being healthy.
Children need to know about health, so they can manage themselves their health.
If children don't know about health, they can destroy their health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ji Yun! 
This is correct! We really have to value the importance of health. 
Health is wealth! 

Yes, I think it's important to teach children about being healthy.
>>> CORRECT!
Children need to know about health, so they can manage themselves their health.
>>> Children need to know about health so that they can manage their health on their own.
If children don't know about health, they can destroy their health.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
120953 Do they deserve the same level of treatment that we offer to... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1420
120952 Foregin workers ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 2379
120951 homework Àå*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1094
120950 When you treat yourself with food, what do you eat? Àü*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 2
120949 Movie Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 3
120948 How much do you care about the clothes you wear? Who do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1016
120947 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1
120946 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1103
120945 Homework for 07.20.2022 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 4
120944 Toy ³ë*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 1270
120943 Which one do you think is better, getting married early or... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 0
120942 Do you think parents nowadays are different from parents in the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-07-21 952
120941 7/20 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 3408
120940 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1114
120939 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120938 Are you good with money? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 863
120937 Writing Task(Jul 15th, 2022) ³²*½Â ÁøÇàÁß 2022-07-20 800
120936 Please check my sentence. thanks ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 952
120935 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 1
120934 In your opinion, what other customs or practices that aren¡¯t... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-07-20 907

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04