¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task: Do you think it is important to teach children about being healthy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À±
2022-01-21 694

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think it's important to teach children about being healthy.
Children need to know about health, so they can manage themselves their health.
If children don't know about health, they can destroy their health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ji Yun! 
This is correct! We really have to value the importance of health. 
Health is wealth! 

Yes, I think it's important to teach children about being healthy.
>>> CORRECT!
Children need to know about health, so they can manage themselves their health.
>>> Children need to know about health so that they can manage their health on their own.
If children don't know about health, they can destroy their health.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
119233 Question È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 533
119232 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 549
119231 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 600
119230 Share your wedding day story. ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 1
119229 homework ¹è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 532
119228 [Homework] Q. What modern gadget could you not live without? ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-05-23 518
119227 Writing Task(May 18th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 433
119226 Would you like to travel alone to another country? Why or why... ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 592
119225 Which among your goals have you already achieved? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 573
119224 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 2
119223 My Last Time with My friends ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 632
119222 My Best Weekend ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 3
119221 Use the words in a sentence: ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 588
119220 Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? ±è*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 0
119219 How do you rate your communication skills with 10 as the highest... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 683
119218 Farm produce ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-22 2
119217 What do you think should the government do regarding the air... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-05-21 685
119216 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-05-21 678
119215 Mistake ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-21 4
119214 Mistake ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-05-21 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04