¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Writing Task: Do you think it is important to teach children about being healthy?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À±
2022-01-21 816

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, I think it's important to teach children about being healthy.
Children need to know about health, so they can manage themselves their health.
If children don't know about health, they can destroy their health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ji Yun! 
This is correct! We really have to value the importance of health. 
Health is wealth! 

Yes, I think it's important to teach children about being healthy.
>>> CORRECT!
Children need to know about health, so they can manage themselves their health.
>>> Children need to know about health so that they can manage their health on their own.
If children don't know about health, they can destroy their health.
>>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115657 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115656 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 947
115655 Responsibility ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115654 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 526
115653 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 567
115652 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 0
115651 How do you think can we encourage people to take the COVID-19... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 396
115650 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115649 Should the family divide the chores at home? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115648 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 0
115647 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 699
115646 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 673
115645 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 417
115644 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 434
115643 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 361
115642 Do you think that there is truth behind superstitions? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1267
115641 What special features do you think should be added to computers? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 0
115640 Do you like dining at famous restaurants with long queues? Why... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 415
115639 Homework(1/14) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1
115638 Homework (1/13) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-17 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04