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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

ielts task 1

작성자: 송*빈
2022-01-21 1265

회원님의 영작문



The given bar graph gives information about the amount of the minutes in telephone call in the UK in three different categories, between 1995 and 2002.
It is clear that the total number of telephone call in local showed the biggest amount of the minutes in every years.It is also worth pointing out that the most amount of the telephone in three differnet country call steadily increased over 7 years.Looking at the graph more closely, the number of minutes in local is the biggest amount of the total number of minutes at about 70 billions in 1995.Then it gradually increased between 1995 and 1999,and it reached the peak of the graph at 90 billions minutes .However, in 2000, it started to declined by about 85 billions, and it fell continually up to about 70 billions. As far as the national and international call is concerned , it recorded at neally 38 billions in 1995.It gradually grew up by about 20 to 60 billions.When it comes to mobile call, it showed the smallest number of minutes at 3

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Su Bin!
You're really working hard these days.
It would be so good for you to go to your exam prepared.
I believe in you.
Keep it up!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
The given bar graph gives information about the amount of the minutes in telephone call in the UK in three different categories, between 1995 and 2002.
>> The given bar graph gives information about the number of minutes of telephone calls in the UK in three different categories from 1995 to 2002.
It is clear that the total number of telephone call in local showed the biggest amount of the minutes in every years.
>> It is clear that the total number of local telephone calls showed the biggest number of minutes every year.
It is also worth pointing out that the most amount of the telephone in three differnet country call steadily increased over 7 years.
>> It is also worth pointing out that the highest number of telephone calls in three different countries increased steadily for over 7 years.
Looking at the graph more closely, the number of minutes in local is the biggest amount of the total number of minutes at about 70 billions in 1995.
>> Looking at the graph more closely, the number of minutes of local calls is the biggest amount of the total number of minutes at about 70 billion in 1995.
Then it gradually increased between 1995 and 1999,and it reached the peak of the graph at 90 billions minutes .
>> Then it gradually increased from 1995 to 1999,and it reached its peak at 90 billion minutes .
However, in 2000, it started to declined by about 85 billions, and it fell continually up to about 70 billions. 
>> However, in 2000, it started to declined to 85 billion, and it fell continually up to about 70 billion. 
As far as the national and international call is concerned , it recorded at neally 38 billions in 1995.
>> As far as the national and international calls are concerned , the record shows 38 billion in 1995.
It gradually grew up by about 20 to 60 billions.
>> It gradually grew to about 20 to 60 billion.
When it comes to mobile call, it showed the smallest number of minutes at 3
>> When it comes to mobile calls, it showed the smallest number of minutes at 3 in 1995.
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