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We have to protect animals because of ecosystem

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2022-01-21 524

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We have to know first what animals do for us. Frankly, like lion or panda, they don't help us directly. However, even mosquitoes they are vital animals for ecosystem. If there are not mosquitoes, in the case of dragonflies that eat harmful insects for us, the prays for them will decrease a lot. So if some animals are extinct, there will be bad effects to ecosystem. It says we have to protect them not to be extinct. We can avoid this bad situation as protecting the animals not to be endangered. The best way to protect them is prohibiting the poaching. The reason of being extinct is poaching. So we can punish poaching people by imposing finance to them. In conclusion, we have to protect animals because of ecosystem, and the best way is imposing finance to poacher.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!   The overall content of your work is comprehensible. Thank you for an impressive work. 


- Teacher Debbie

We have to know first what animals do for us.

>> This is a good sentence.


Frankly, like lion or panda, they don't help us directly.
>> Frankly, animals, like lions or pandas, don't help us directly.

However, even mosquitoes they are vital animals for ecosystem.
>> However, they are vital for the ecosystem, even mosquitoes.

If there are not mosquitoes, in the case of dragonflies that eat harmful insects for us, the prays for them will decrease a lot.
>> Dragonflies eat harmful insects like mosquitoes. If there were no mosquitoes, their prey would decrease in number.

So if some animals are extinct, there will be bad effects to ecosystem.
>> If some animals become extinct, there will be bad effects on the ecosystem.

It says we have to protect them not to be extinct.
>> We have to protect them so they will not vanish.

 We can avoid this bad situation as protecting the animals not to be endangered.
>> No need to write this. It's the same as the sentence before it.

The best way to protect them is prohibiting the poaching.
>> T
he best way to protect them is to prohibit poaching.

The reason of being extinct is poaching.
>> It is the reason for extinction.

So we can punish poaching people by imposing finance to them.
>> We can punish poachers by imposing fines.

 In conclusion, we have to protect animals because of ecosystem, and the best way is imposing finance to poacher.
>>  In conclusion, we have to protect animals for the ecosystem, and the best way to do that is to impose fines on poachers.
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