¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever left discrimination from other people before? How should we deal with it?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-01-22 794

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't know if you know this, There're a lot of conflicts between men and women in Korea. So It's hard to answer this question. I hope to live that we can understand each other. That's not the case in reality.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Hyeon:) 

At some point in our lives, we can feel discrimination from other people but there is always a good way to properly handle it. These things should not affect us in a negative way but let it be something positive that can motivate us to become better people. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I don't know if you know this, There're a lot of conflicts between men and women in Korea. 
>> I don't know if you know this, but there are a lot of conflicts between men and women in South Korea. 

So It's hard to answer this question. 
>> That is why it is hard to answer this question. 

I hope to live that we can understand each other. 
>> I hope to live in a world where we can understand each other. 

That's not the case in reality.
>> Although, that is not the case in the reality that we live in right now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115479 Why do people commit crimes? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115478 Can you give me one superstition in South Korea? Explain in... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 0
115477 homework Àü*¾÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 335
115476 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 211
115475 When I\'m worn out. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115474 If there is a place where you wished to be born, where would it... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 483
115473 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 0
115472 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 289
115471 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 415
115470 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 966
115469 Can you give me one superstition in South Korea? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115468 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 0
115467 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115466 Homework ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115465 Homework (1/10) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115464 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115463 Korea locks in COVID19 pills for 1m people ; here\'s what to know À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115462 What things are irreplaceable? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1192
115461 What things are irreplaceable? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 136
115460 Essay (Jan 11th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 417

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04