¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you ever left discrimination from other people before? How should we deal with it?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-01-22 939

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't know if you know this, There're a lot of conflicts between men and women in Korea. So It's hard to answer this question. I hope to live that we can understand each other. That's not the case in reality.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Hyeon:) 

At some point in our lives, we can feel discrimination from other people but there is always a good way to properly handle it. These things should not affect us in a negative way but let it be something positive that can motivate us to become better people. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I don't know if you know this, There're a lot of conflicts between men and women in Korea. 
>> I don't know if you know this, but there are a lot of conflicts between men and women in South Korea. 

So It's hard to answer this question. 
>> That is why it is hard to answer this question. 

I hope to live that we can understand each other. 
>> I hope to live in a world where we can understand each other. 

That's not the case in reality.
>> Although, that is not the case in the reality that we live in right now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115587 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 572
115586 Have a weekend!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 547
115585 Are businessmen or influencers entitled to their political... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 3
115584 How long can you stay away from your family? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115583 Would life be boring without a risk? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115582 If you could take a vacation anywhere in the world for any... Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1043
115581 homework2 ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 694
115580 Young people skip insurance amid low financial benefits, low... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115579 Food far better than pills as source of essential nutrients À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115578 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 4
115577 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115576 It is very good story for people ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 494
115575 Learn instrument. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 855
115574 Famouse superstition ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 773
115573 About peace! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 312
115572 If you could travel back in time, where would you go? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 407
115571 Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1172
115570 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 426
115569 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115568 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04