무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in your country?

작성자: 김*윤
2022-01-22 1017

회원님의 영작문

I think the biggest change in how families are in my country is the proliferation of nuclear family ,low birth rate and aging. I'm sure it can apply to other countries. In the past, there are most extended families that have a lot of family members and a few nuclear families. However, now, it became opposite. Nearly all of my friends are a member of nuclear family and they say we are planning to have a nuclear family. I think this is because the times have changed. They need no longer have children who will become workers of farm because of the Industrial Revolution. Actually, now, having children is economically worse than not to have a child. This naturally leads to low birth rate and the aging. Also, they need no longer live with a lot of members. So, it leads to the growth of the number of nuclear families. It is a diffcult problem. Because it is not wrong things, no one can order them to have a children and to live with everyone. It is up to them to decide what they do

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Kevin!
Thank you for accomplishing this homework.   Take note of the corrections and be able to fix your own sentences next time. :)


~T. Maine

I think the biggest change in how families are in my country is the proliferation of nuclear family ,low birth rate and aging. 
>>I think the biggest change in how families are in my country is the proliferation of nuclear families, low birth rate, and aging. 
I'm sure it can apply to other countries. 
>>I'm sure it applies to other countries too. 
In the past, there are most extended families that have a lot of family members and a few nuclear families. 
>>In the past, people used to have extended families with a lot of family members and a few nuclear families. 
However, now, it became opposite. 
>>However, now it's the opposite. 
Nearly all of my friends are a member of nuclear family and they say we are planning to have a nuclear family. 
>>Nearly all of my friends are a member of a nuclear family and they say they are planning to have the same family structure. 
I think this is because the times have changed. 
>>Correct. 
They need no longer have children who will become workers of farm because of the Industrial Revolution. 
>>They no longer need to have children who will become workers of the farm because of industrial revolution. 
Actually, now, having children is economically worse than not to have a child.
>>Actually now, having children is economically worse than not having a child. 
This naturally leads to low birth rate and the aging. 
>>This naturally leads to a low birth rate and aging. 
Also, they need no longer live with a lot of members. 
>>Also, they no longer need to live with a lot of members. 
So, it leads to the growth of the number of nuclear families. 
>>Correct. 
It is a diffcult problem. 
>>It is a difficult problem. 
Because it is not wrong things, no one can order them to have a children and to live with everyone. 
>>It is not considered wrong since no one can order them to have children and live with anyone. 
It is up to them to decide what they do
>>It is up to them to decide for their lives.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
116271 Homework 박*은 완료 2022-02-10 3
116270 Do you think there will be a lot of unemployed people when we... 김*진 완료 2022-02-10 1
116269 Terrible olympic:( 이*은 완료 2022-02-10 653
116268 What is a bus station? / Where’s the nearest bus station in... 주*빈 완료 2022-02-10 434
116267 Definitely Philippines :) 이*은 완료 2022-02-10 840
116266 How do different types of weather affect you emotions? 김*국 완료 2022-02-10 3
116265 My best day. Le* 완료 2022-02-10 500
116264 How does free time activities differ now compared with the past? 김*경 완료 2022-02-10 611
116263 Homework. 임*숙 완료 2022-02-10 805
116262 pick pick 김*영 완료 2022-02-10 3
116261 hw 이*형 완료 2022-02-10 1404
116260 What would you do if you woke up one morning and all of the... 황*하 완료 2022-02-10 1078
116259 homework.2 양*인 완료 2022-02-10 689
116258 homework.1 양*인 완료 2022-02-10 873
116257 Why I don\'t want to live in another country. 김*성 완료 2022-02-10 590
116256 Wht I like my city 김*성 완료 2022-02-10 1475
116255 2 in 3 young people positive about plant-based meat consumption 유*진 완료 2022-02-10 1
116254 homework 정*경 완료 2022-02-10 705
116253 Homework 함*주 완료 2022-02-10 2
116252 Homework 이*빈 완료 2022-02-10 877

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]