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영작교정 게시판

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What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in your country?

작성자: 김*윤
2022-01-22 1046

회원님의 영작문

I think the biggest change in how families are in my country is the proliferation of nuclear family ,low birth rate and aging. I'm sure it can apply to other countries. In the past, there are most extended families that have a lot of family members and a few nuclear families. However, now, it became opposite. Nearly all of my friends are a member of nuclear family and they say we are planning to have a nuclear family. I think this is because the times have changed. They need no longer have children who will become workers of farm because of the Industrial Revolution. Actually, now, having children is economically worse than not to have a child. This naturally leads to low birth rate and the aging. Also, they need no longer live with a lot of members. So, it leads to the growth of the number of nuclear families. It is a diffcult problem. Because it is not wrong things, no one can order them to have a children and to live with everyone. It is up to them to decide what they do

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Kevin!
Thank you for accomplishing this homework.   Take note of the corrections and be able to fix your own sentences next time. :)


~T. Maine

I think the biggest change in how families are in my country is the proliferation of nuclear family ,low birth rate and aging. 
>>I think the biggest change in how families are in my country is the proliferation of nuclear families, low birth rate, and aging. 
I'm sure it can apply to other countries. 
>>I'm sure it applies to other countries too. 
In the past, there are most extended families that have a lot of family members and a few nuclear families. 
>>In the past, people used to have extended families with a lot of family members and a few nuclear families. 
However, now, it became opposite. 
>>However, now it's the opposite. 
Nearly all of my friends are a member of nuclear family and they say we are planning to have a nuclear family. 
>>Nearly all of my friends are a member of a nuclear family and they say they are planning to have the same family structure. 
I think this is because the times have changed. 
>>Correct. 
They need no longer have children who will become workers of farm because of the Industrial Revolution. 
>>They no longer need to have children who will become workers of the farm because of industrial revolution. 
Actually, now, having children is economically worse than not to have a child.
>>Actually now, having children is economically worse than not having a child. 
This naturally leads to low birth rate and the aging. 
>>This naturally leads to a low birth rate and aging. 
Also, they need no longer live with a lot of members. 
>>Also, they no longer need to live with a lot of members. 
So, it leads to the growth of the number of nuclear families. 
>>Correct. 
It is a diffcult problem. 
>>It is a difficult problem. 
Because it is not wrong things, no one can order them to have a children and to live with everyone. 
>>It is not considered wrong since no one can order them to have children and live with anyone. 
It is up to them to decide what they do
>>It is up to them to decide for their lives.

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