¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I have but now it\'s change

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-23 1169

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was child, my father way grandma like brother more than me.
And I was young, I don't know about this is a discrimination.
Ususally my grandma likes girls than boy.
My brother is older than me so every time my turn is last.
But now we are grow up.
My brother don't care about my grand parents.
But I'm not. I'm call them often and take care.
So now my grandma understand my precious.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

I have the experience. All of my relatives like my older brother more because he was the first grandchild. He used to get everything he wanted. But eventually, my brother doesn't care about them anymore. I was the only one who remembers them in everything. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

When I was child, my father way grandma like brother more than me.
>> When I was a child, my grandmother from my father's side liked my brother more than me. 

And I was young, I don't know about this is a discrimination.
>> At that time, I didn't know that it was discrimination. 

Ususally my grandma likes girls than boy.
>> Usually, my grandma likes girls more than boys. 

My brother is older than me so every time my turn is last.
>> My brother is older than me so I always come last in everything. 

But now we are grow up.
>> But now, we are both grown ups. 

My brother don't care about my grand parents.
>> My brother doesn't care about my grandparents but I do. 

But I'm not. I'm call them often and take care.
>> I call them often and take care of them.

So now my grandma understand my precious.
>> So now, my grandma knows how precious I am. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118041 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 757
118040 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 734
118039 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 3
118038 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? Why or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 0
118037 What is your opinion about people who have tattoos? Would you... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 0
118036 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 5
118035 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 599
118034 Is travel education? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 519
118033 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 621
118032 Should governments allow people to drink products that make... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1494
118031 Do you think it would be harder to live with a physical... ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 745
118030 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 614
118029 Fashion is important thing ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 934
118028 My Favorite Thing about Myself ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1318
118027 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 1
118026 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 828
118025 2022.4.5 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 935
118024 Do you think fashion is important for people\'s lives? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 556
118023 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-06 2
118022 If you can plant a tree in your name, what tree will you plant? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-05 897

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04