¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I have but now it\'s change

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-23 897

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I was child, my father way grandma like brother more than me.
And I was young, I don't know about this is a discrimination.
Ususally my grandma likes girls than boy.
My brother is older than me so every time my turn is last.
But now we are grow up.
My brother don't care about my grand parents.
But I'm not. I'm call them often and take care.
So now my grandma understand my precious.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

I have the experience. All of my relatives like my older brother more because he was the first grandchild. He used to get everything he wanted. But eventually, my brother doesn't care about them anymore. I was the only one who remembers them in everything. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

When I was child, my father way grandma like brother more than me.
>> When I was a child, my grandmother from my father's side liked my brother more than me. 

And I was young, I don't know about this is a discrimination.
>> At that time, I didn't know that it was discrimination. 

Ususally my grandma likes girls than boy.
>> Usually, my grandma likes girls more than boys. 

My brother is older than me so every time my turn is last.
>> My brother is older than me so I always come last in everything. 

But now we are grow up.
>> But now, we are both grown ups. 

My brother don't care about my grand parents.
>> My brother doesn't care about my grandparents but I do. 

But I'm not. I'm call them often and take care.
>> I call them often and take care of them.

So now my grandma understand my precious.
>> So now, my grandma knows how precious I am. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115557 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 241
115556 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 751
115555 What is your favorite part of the day? Answer in a few sentences. ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115554 How will you encourage other people to take their vaccine?... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 0
115553 Why do you think people don\'t want to take other people\'s... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 2
115552 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 535
115551 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 780
115550 Homework (1/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1
115549 What are the common barriers to effective communication? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 384
115548 Writing Task (Jan 13th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 1684
115547 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 643
115546 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 555
115545 Thank you! Fiona! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 489
115544 game ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 253
115543 Do you think that most immigrants are refugees from other... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 3
115542 Why do you think people equate healthy to being thin? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 5
115541 Time for Book ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 280
115540 2022.1.12 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 459
115539 2022.1.11 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 524
115538 Tell something about Jinju. ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-13 980

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04