¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are older people actually wiser?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-23 998

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that all older people are not wiser. Older people don't become wiser people. When they try to be wiser in their life, they can be wiser. People have learned lots of things during life time. But, knowledge should change over time. The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems, it must change according to time or situations. A person who can change his knowledge to match with time or situations is wiser person.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Hwanny! :)
Thank you for diligently writing this essay. 
It is true that age doesn't always equal to knowledge. 
In my opinion, experience is equal to knowledge. 
Anyhow, I hope you're doing great on a Monday. 
See you again in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I think that all older people are not wiser. 
>> CORRECT!
Older people don't become wiser people. 
>> CORRECT!
When they try to be wiser in their life, they can be wiser. 
>> When they try to be wiser in their lives, they can be wiser.
People have learned lots of things during life time. 
>> People learn a lot of things during their lifetime. 
But, knowledge should change over time. 
>> CORRECT!
The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems, it must change according to time or situations. 
>> The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems and it must change according to the time or situations. 
A person who can change his knowledge to match with time or situations is wiser person. 
>> A person who can change his knowledge to match with the time or situations is the wiser person.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116336 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116335 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 715
116334 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 902
116333 Do you forgive people easily when they did something bad to you?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 722
116332 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116331 What is the worst news you\'ve ever heard in South Korea?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116330 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 10
116329 Friday homeowrk ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 740
116328 What do children do at a playground? / What do you play with... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 770
116327 lesson 1 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 719
116326 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 6
116325 What would life be like without friends? ¼º*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 972
116324 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 607
116323 ESSAY: What is the best and most enjoyable activity for the... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 735
116322 Homework (2/11) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116321 22-02-11 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116320 22-02-09 Homework ¹Ú*·É ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116319 Korea: High-profile suicides spark cyber-bullying petition À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 1
116318 How do you manage your anger at work? Share your thoughts and... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0
116317 How do you respectfully oppose someone\'s opinions? Answer in a... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-11 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04