¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Are older people actually wiser?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2022-01-23 909

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that all older people are not wiser. Older people don't become wiser people. When they try to be wiser in their life, they can be wiser. People have learned lots of things during life time. But, knowledge should change over time. The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems, it must change according to time or situations. A person who can change his knowledge to match with time or situations is wiser person.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon Hwanny! :)
Thank you for diligently writing this essay. 
It is true that age doesn't always equal to knowledge. 
In my opinion, experience is equal to knowledge. 
Anyhow, I hope you're doing great on a Monday. 
See you again in class later. ^^
~Teacher Charry

I think that all older people are not wiser. 
>> CORRECT!
Older people don't become wiser people. 
>> CORRECT!
When they try to be wiser in their life, they can be wiser. 
>> When they try to be wiser in their lives, they can be wiser.
People have learned lots of things during life time. 
>> People learn a lot of things during their lifetime. 
But, knowledge should change over time. 
>> CORRECT!
The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems, it must change according to time or situations. 
>> The knowledge should be tools to solve current problems and it must change according to the time or situations. 
A person who can change his knowledge to match with time or situations is wiser person. 
>> A person who can change his knowledge to match with the time or situations is the wiser person.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115083 Buying ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115082 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 387
115081 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1422
115080 Homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 0
115079 What would you do with a magic wand if you had one? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115078 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 497
115077 Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 239
115076 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 5537
115075 cooking ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 438
115074 Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1612
115073 What\'s your comfort food? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 562
115072 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1
115071 the most interesting city in my country ¿ì*¿í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 4
115070 Thousands of bank jobs lost to digitalization À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1
115069 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115068 rights ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 446
115067 Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1567
115066 Do we have to support strong friends? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 240
115065 HOMEWORK: Describe the best holiday ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 458
115064 What animal best represents you? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 205

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04