¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Àº
2022-01-24 534

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

I agree that the junk food effects negatively our environment. The junk food has been using a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for only packing. It is the cause environment pollution. Also, fast food is for eating fast like its name. eating habits are also changed us eat fast. These things make us gain fat and indigestion. Moreover, according to eating time with family is decreased, family's relationship become low.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Luel!^^How are you today? I miss you! Thanks for writing your essay!  Remind yourself the REASON why you¡¯re writing. It¡¯s about realizing the value you get from writing. So when you finally understand the ¡°why¡± behind your writing, writing won¡¯t feel like an obstacle.

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

I agree that the junk food effects negatively our environment. 

>>>I agree that junk food affects our environment negatively. 

The junk food has been using a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for only packing.

>>> Junk food has been including a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for packing.

 It is the cause environment pollution. 

>>>  It is the cause of environment pollution. 

Also, fast food is for eating fast like its name. 

>>> Also, fast food is quick meal like its name. 

eating habits are also changed us eat fast. 

>>> Eating habits have also changed us to eat fast. 

These things make us gain fat and indigestion.

>>> These things make us gain fat and caused indigestion.

 Moreover, according to eating time with family is decreased, family's relationship become low.

>>>  Moreover, eating time with the family has decreased. Family relationship has become so low.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116772 Teleporting ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 477
116771 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116770 Instant noodles rank first in food output in 2020 amid pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1
116769 Do you think that working at home using the internet is good or... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 6
116768 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 798
116767 What do you like most about staying with your grandparents? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 513
116766 48.49.50 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 903
116765 45.46,47 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 745
116764 Homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 877
116763 4142 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 1171
116762 What have you lost while traveling? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 674
116761 What do you think is the best company to work at in your country... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-24 725
116760 If you can pick a superpower that you can have, what would it be... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 570
116759 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2
116758 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 2
116757 What\'s the best birthday gift you ever received? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 326
116756 2/23 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 607
116755 If exercise makes you live a lot longer, why do so many people... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 658
116754 37.38 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 682
116753 Dreamgirls ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-23 365

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04