¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Àº
2022-01-24 464

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

I agree that the junk food effects negatively our environment. The junk food has been using a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for only packing. It is the cause environment pollution. Also, fast food is for eating fast like its name. eating habits are also changed us eat fast. These things make us gain fat and indigestion. Moreover, according to eating time with family is decreased, family's relationship become low.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Luel!^^How are you today? I miss you! Thanks for writing your essay!  Remind yourself the REASON why you¡¯re writing. It¡¯s about realizing the value you get from writing. So when you finally understand the ¡°why¡± behind your writing, writing won¡¯t feel like an obstacle.

>>> TEACHER GEMMA

I agree that the junk food effects negatively our environment. 

>>>I agree that junk food affects our environment negatively. 

The junk food has been using a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for only packing.

>>> Junk food has been including a lot of plastic products and excessive wrapping paper / wrap for packing.

 It is the cause environment pollution. 

>>>  It is the cause of environment pollution. 

Also, fast food is for eating fast like its name. 

>>> Also, fast food is quick meal like its name. 

eating habits are also changed us eat fast. 

>>> Eating habits have also changed us to eat fast. 

These things make us gain fat and indigestion.

>>> These things make us gain fat and caused indigestion.

 Moreover, according to eating time with family is decreased, family's relationship become low.

>>>  Moreover, eating time with the family has decreased. Family relationship has become so low.



¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115799 What does this saying mean, \"blood is thicker than water\"? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 299
115798 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1052
115797 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 2
115796 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 2
115795 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 405
115794 What do you think is your main purpose in life? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 874
115793 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 2
115792 ielts task 1 ¼Û*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1064
115791 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1036
115790 If you could be another person for a day, who would you be? Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1096
115789 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 648
115788 Homework(1/20) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1
115787 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1
115786 What kind of greeting do you like hearing most? Why? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 896
115785 What function of mobile phone do you want your phone to have ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 625
115784 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 715
115783 How are sports beneficial to you? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 0
115782 Is it necessary to do further education after high school these... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 547
115781 viking\'s characters À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1
115780 Writing Task: Do you think it is important to teach children... ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 451

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04