¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Discrimination

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ì
2022-01-24 480

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I have never felt discrimination yet,but I think I will feel discrimination when I go to abroad like eroupe. I think it will be very tired and sad to suffer discrimination.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Alex:) 

At some point in our lives, we can feel discrimination from other people but there is always a good way to properly handle it. These things should not affect us in a negative way but let it be something positive that can motivate us to become better people. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I have never felt discrimination yet,but I think I will feel discrimination when I go to abroad like eroupe. 
>>I have never felt discrimination yet ,but I think I will feel it when I go to places like Europe. 

I think it will be very tired and sad to suffer discrimination.
>> I think it will be very tiring and sad to suffer from discrimination.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114465 Hoesik ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 356
114464 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114463 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114462 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 2
114461 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114460 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 552
114459 How do you greet your family and your friends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114458 The kids should help small work. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114457 What is your goal for this coming year? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 4
114456 What\'s the food that you usually order in your favorite... ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 6
114455 Why is it important to know the traffic rules when driving? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 0
114454 hi, Jasmin ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114453 Essy2 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114452 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 203
114451 Ending my day. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114450 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 230
114449 The country I will never visit:Afghanistan ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 183
114448 Do you make a wish when you see a falling star? Why or why not? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114447 What aspect of your health do you want to improve on? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114446 Do you agree or disagree, \"Children should always obey their... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04