¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who are the people you always rely on?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ö*ÁÖ
2022-01-24 537

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed, because I thought that¡¯s mature attitude.
But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be actual solution, I need to rely on someone I can trust.
Because It can make life better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Julia, Thank you for this, you were able to express your thoughts, arguments, and ideas clearly and effectively. Keep expressing yourself because it will lead you to fluency in the English language. Take care!
Aki~
I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed, because I thought that¡¯s mature attitude.
>>> I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed because I thought that¡¯s a mature attitude.
>>>  I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed because I thought that¡¯s an attitude if a matured person.
But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be actual solution, I need to rely on someone I can trust.
>>>  But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be the actual solution, I need to rely on someone whom I can trust.
Because It can make life better.
>>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117120 How did you and your husband meet? Was it love at first sight? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 1083
117119 2022.3.7 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 1131
117118 Playground ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 755
117117 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 751
117116 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-08 1326
117115 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 685
117114 3/7 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 818
117113 Will you plan for an active trip or a relaxing trip? Why is that? ¾ç*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 952
117112 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 3
117111 Why I think dancing is good exercise ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 821
117110 Why is English important to you? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 10
117109 What do you think about abolishing the vaccination pass? Share... ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 4
117108 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1232
117107 If you were planning a party on a very small budget, what would... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 968
117106 Essay (Mar 2th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 575
117105 if you could make three wishes, what would they be? ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 730
117104 Trustworthy ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 926
117103 What is the least favorite transportation and why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 1
117102 Writing Task (Mar 4th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 879
117101 Why do you think playing a musical instrument is good for you? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-07 411

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04