¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who are the people you always rely on?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ö*ÁÖ
2022-01-24 499

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed, because I thought that¡¯s mature attitude.
But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be actual solution, I need to rely on someone I can trust.
Because It can make life better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Julia, Thank you for this, you were able to express your thoughts, arguments, and ideas clearly and effectively. Keep expressing yourself because it will lead you to fluency in the English language. Take care!
Aki~
I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed, because I thought that¡¯s mature attitude.
>>> I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed because I thought that¡¯s a mature attitude.
>>>  I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed because I thought that¡¯s an attitude if a matured person.
But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be actual solution, I need to rely on someone I can trust.
>>>  But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be the actual solution, I need to rely on someone whom I can trust.
Because It can make life better.
>>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116886 Ryu Hyun Jin ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 340
116885 HOMEWORK: What¡¯s good or bad about having packed lunches? ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 592
116884 Homework. ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 636
116883 What are two foods that you\'re craving to eat right now? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 695
116882 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 2
116881 What is the hardest part of learning English? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 827
116880 lesson 8 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 452
116879 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 902
116878 Seoul vows to become digital emotional culture city À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1
116877 What is your favorite holiday? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 1
116876 Which famous celebrity influenced you the most and why? º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 667
116875 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 730
116874 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 638
116873 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 508
116872 How do celebrate children\'s day when you were young? Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-28 714
116871 Homework °í*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 614
116870 Have you ever gotten lost while traveling, if so, tell about it? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 2
116869 What kind of questions would you like to ask your interviewers?... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 939
116868 What do you think about countries that ban or restrict the media? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 638
116867 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-27 970

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04