¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Who are the people you always rely on?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾ö*ÁÖ
2022-01-24 645

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed, because I thought that¡¯s mature attitude.
But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be actual solution, I need to rely on someone I can trust.
Because It can make life better.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Julia, Thank you for this, you were able to express your thoughts, arguments, and ideas clearly and effectively. Keep expressing yourself because it will lead you to fluency in the English language. Take care!
Aki~
I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed, because I thought that¡¯s mature attitude.
>>> I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed because I thought that¡¯s a mature attitude.
>>>  I¡¯m not used to relying on someone when I have some problems and get depressed because I thought that¡¯s an attitude if a matured person.
But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be actual solution, I need to rely on someone I can trust.
>>>  But I realized that even though someone couldn¡¯t be the actual solution, I need to rely on someone whom I can trust.
Because It can make life better.
>>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115075 cooking ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 503
115074 Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1891
115073 What\'s your comfort food? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 664
115072 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1
115071 the most interesting city in my country ¿ì*¿í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 4
115070 Thousands of bank jobs lost to digitalization À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1
115069 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 2
115068 rights ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 618
115067 Do you think that Christmas should be an important holiday in... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-28 1685
115066 Do we have to support strong friends? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 345
115065 HOMEWORK: Describe the best holiday ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 555
115064 What animal best represents you? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 308
115063 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 327
115062 What job would you never want to try? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 1
115061 What is your favorite time of the year? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 0
115060 My thinking ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 2
115059 How did you plan your time with your parents? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 0
115058 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 1
115057 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 595
115056 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04