¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

It\'s nonsense

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-01-25 681

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's nonsense.
Age is not important to right thinking.
The world is wide and there are so many crazy people.
Every people they does mistake and hurts somebody.
There's no guarantee that older person won't make a mistake.
And I saw very many time older than me but wierd person.
I like just normal and nicely person :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That's true. Every person makes mistakes. Humans are not perfect regardless is you are  older or younger so we have to respect each other equally. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think it's nonsense.
> CORRECT

Age is not important to right thinking.
>> Age does not define that you are always right. 

The world is wide and there are so many crazy people.
>> The world is big and there are so many crazy people.

Every people they does mistake and hurts somebody.
>> Every person makes mistakes and hurt other people. 

There's no guarantee that older person won't make a mistake.
>> There's no guarantee that older people don't make mistakes. 

And I saw very many time older than me but wierd person.
>> I've seen older people make more mistakes than me. 

I like just normal and nicely person :)
>> I just act normal and nice when that happens. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115254 How does capitalism affect us and our environment? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 5
115253 What do you enjoy about going to school? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 257
115252 What is your greatest accomplishment nowadays? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1014
115251 Why are goals important? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1
115250 Why is English fluency significant for you? Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 4
115249 Do you think having a home-cooked meal is better than going out... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 29
115248 Cat grass (Novel) Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 274
115247 Homework_Jan.4th,2022 ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-05 1024
115246 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115245 What actions should the U.N. do in order to address the... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 3
115244 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115243 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115242 ¿µÀÛ ¼÷Á¦ ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115241 If you can invent something, what would it be? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 864
115240 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 571
115239 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1204
115238 Is it always necessary for a married couple to have kids? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 932
115237 How do you feel about taking revenge? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 623
115236 About museum! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1249
115235 Staying at home can save lots of lives. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1151

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04