¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-25 538

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't think that older people are always right.
Because in this world, there are many criminals who are older than me.
They are all older people but they did the crime.
And the crime is not a good thing or a right thing in this world.
So they are all punished and they have to reflect on their selves through their rest of the lives.
So I don't think that older people are always right.
They are all people too, so they can make different kinds of mistakes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's true. Every person makes mistakes. Humans are not perfect regardless is you are  older or younger so we have to respect each other equally. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I don't think that older people are always right.
>> CORRECT

Because in this world, there are many criminals who are older than me.
>> CORRECT

They are all older people but they did the crime.
>> They are all older people but they still commit crimes. 

And the crime is not a good thing or a right thing in this world.
>> And committing crime is not a good thing. 

So they are all punished and they have to reflect on their selves through their rest of the lives.
>> So, they are all punished and they have to reflect on their actions by themselves for the rest of their lives. 

So I don't think that older people are always right.
>> CORRECT

They are all people too, so they can make different kinds of mistakes.
>> They are still people so  they can make mistakes as well regardless of the age. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115784 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 713
115783 How are sports beneficial to you? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 0
115782 Is it necessary to do further education after high school these... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 542
115781 viking\'s characters À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1
115780 Writing Task: Do you think it is important to teach children... ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 435
115779 Writing Task: Do you spend a lot of time in bed when you\'re... ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 881
115778 Where do you want to go while you still have days left for this... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-21 1462
115777 What is a successful life? What habits should you have to have a... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1220
115776 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1
115775 homework Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1491
115774 There are two ways for relaxing ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1179
115773 Home Work ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 943
115772 What do you think is your main purpose in life? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1099
115771 Money is most need thing ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 817
115770 Automatically read my mind ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1255
115769 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 0
115768 Essay (Jan 20th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 509
115767 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1654
115766 what do you do to improve? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 3
115765 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-20 1136

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04