¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-01-25 753

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't think that older people are always right.
Because in this world, there are many criminals who are older than me.
They are all older people but they did the crime.
And the crime is not a good thing or a right thing in this world.
So they are all punished and they have to reflect on their selves through their rest of the lives.
So I don't think that older people are always right.
They are all people too, so they can make different kinds of mistakes.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's true. Every person makes mistakes. Humans are not perfect regardless is you are  older or younger so we have to respect each other equally. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I don't think that older people are always right.
>> CORRECT

Because in this world, there are many criminals who are older than me.
>> CORRECT

They are all older people but they did the crime.
>> They are all older people but they still commit crimes. 

And the crime is not a good thing or a right thing in this world.
>> And committing crime is not a good thing. 

So they are all punished and they have to reflect on their selves through their rest of the lives.
>> So, they are all punished and they have to reflect on their actions by themselves for the rest of their lives. 

So I don't think that older people are always right.
>> CORRECT

They are all people too, so they can make different kinds of mistakes.
>> They are still people so  they can make mistakes as well regardless of the age. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115190 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 485
115189 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0
115188 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0
115187 What is a good friend? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 319
115186 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 448
115185 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115184 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115183 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 832
115182 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115181 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 0
115180 My favorite things ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115179 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 649
115178 Chrismas ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 307
115177 Why soda is not good for health ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 365
115176 Why I don\'t want to get outside with barefoot ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 706
115175 Some people say that young people should be free to choose the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 391
115174 What is the most challenging about moving to a new place? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 413
115173 What are you looking forward to this coming year 2022? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 375
115172 Why is English fluency significant for you? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 480
115171 homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 434

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04