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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Are men better drivers than women? Why do you say so?

작성자: 김*경
2022-01-26 668

회원님의 영작문

It can't be true. I know some women who drive better than average men. I think it's not the difference between man and woman, but the difference in abilities. I see many women driving buses or heavy vehicles that only men used to drive for a long time. When it comes to what abilities take for drivers, there have been a lot of changes thanks to the development of technologies about driving. Almost every driver is guided by a navigation system which shows the way to go in three dimensions There are also many remarkable sensors to let drivers know about car's conditions while driving or not for safe driving. When you park, you don't need to worry about it because of a narrow parking space. It's because some cars show you your cars in a bird's eye view in real-time.So you can park while seeing all the scenes all around your car. To make a long story short, women and men make no difference in driving abilities because of many technologies, which are substituting human abilities for driving.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Excellent job, Steve! Your work is fantastic! You were able to expound on your answer. Please take note of the corrections though. 

- Debbie


It can't be true. 
>> This is a good sentence.

I know some women who drive better than average men. 
>> I know some women who drive better than men. 

I think it's not the difference between man and woman, but the difference in abilities.
>>  I think being a good driver is not about gender but abilities.

I see many women driving buses or heavy vehicles that only men used to drive for a long time. 
>> I see many women driving buses or heavy vehicles that men had operated for a long time. 

When it comes to what abilities take for drivers, there have been a lot of changes thanks to the development of technologies about driving. 
>> Thanks to the development of technologies, there have been a lot of changes in automobiles. 

Almost every driver is guided by a navigation system which shows the way to go in three dimensions 
>> Almost every driver is guided by a navigation system that shows directions in three dimensions 

There are also many remarkable sensors to let drivers know about car's conditions while driving or not for safe driving. 
>> There are also many remarkable sensors to let the drivers know whether it is safe to drive or not.

When you park, you don't need to worry about it because of a narrow parking space. 
>> When you park, you don't need to worry about narrow spaces. 

It's because some cars show you your cars in a bird's eye view in real-time.
>> It's because some cars have bird's eye cameras.

So you can park while seeing all the scenes all around your car. 
>> You can park while looking at your car's surroundings.

To make a long story short, women and men make no difference in driving abilities because of many technologies, which are substituting human abilities for driving.
>> To make a long story short, women and men make no difference in driving because many technologies substitute for human abilities.
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