¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-02-04 342

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To improve living conditions, my city should set up the gas because in my town, there aren't gas lines yet. City gas is cheap and useful but there aren't gas lines, so I'm sad. If city gas is set up in my town, residents and my family will be able to live more comfortable life. Also, my city should open a ​subway. My city is not small but there isn't subway. So, when I visit other city, I'm uncomfortable. I hope that I can take a subway.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly:)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

To improve living conditions, my city should set up the gas because in my town, there aren't gas lines yet. 
>> To improve living conditions, my city should set up a gas station because there are none in my town. 

City gas is cheap and useful but there aren't gas lines, so I'm sad. 
>> The price of gas in a city is cheap and useful but we don't have it here in our town so I feel sad. 

If city gas is set up in my town, residents and my family will be able to live more comfortable life. 
>> If this would be set up, residents will live more comfortably. 

Also, my city should open a ​subway. 
>> Also, my city should open a subway. 

My city is not small but there isn't subway. 
>> My city is not small but there is not subway here. 

So, when I visit other city, I'm uncomfortable. 
>> So when I visit another country, I feel uncomfortable. 

I hope that I can take a subway.
>> I hope that I can take the subway.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115889 Writing correction - 1 ±è*¿µ ÁøÇàÁß 2022-01-25 0
115888 Writing correction - 1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0
115887 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 314
115886 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115885 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115884 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115883 Do you think that older people are always right? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 547
115882 sorry for absent °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 0
115881 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1368
115880 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 566
115879 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 125
115878 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 469
115877 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1168
115876 Hi ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 748
115875 TV show~ ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 9
115874 What is a good conversation for you? ¾ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 2
115873 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 169
115872 Homework (1/21) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 2
115871 When I am upset. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 1
115870 It\'s nonsense ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-25 492

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04