¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*º°
2022-02-04 509

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To improve living conditions, my city should set up the gas because in my town, there aren't gas lines yet. City gas is cheap and useful but there aren't gas lines, so I'm sad. If city gas is set up in my town, residents and my family will be able to live more comfortable life. Also, my city should open a ​subway. My city is not small but there isn't subway. So, when I visit other city, I'm uncomfortable. I hope that I can take a subway.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Kimberly:)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

To improve living conditions, my city should set up the gas because in my town, there aren't gas lines yet. 
>> To improve living conditions, my city should set up a gas station because there are none in my town. 

City gas is cheap and useful but there aren't gas lines, so I'm sad. 
>> The price of gas in a city is cheap and useful but we don't have it here in our town so I feel sad. 

If city gas is set up in my town, residents and my family will be able to live more comfortable life. 
>> If this would be set up, residents will live more comfortably. 

Also, my city should open a ​subway. 
>> Also, my city should open a subway. 

My city is not small but there isn't subway. 
>> My city is not small but there is not subway here. 

So, when I visit other city, I'm uncomfortable. 
>> So when I visit another country, I feel uncomfortable. 

I hope that I can take a subway.
>> I hope that I can take the subway.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116194 Hi Ȳ*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-09 484
116193 Writing Task (Feb 8th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 611
116192 2/8 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 600
116191 02.08 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 0
116190 What are you going to do tomorrow? / Why are you going to do... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 796
116189 3 out of 10 women in Seoul say they are willing to have children... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116188 do you want to be famous? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 613
116187 If you can move to another country, which one would you pick and... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 718
116186 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 577
116185 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1065
116184 What do you think about (not) having hobbies? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1078
116183 Should voting be compulsory? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 0
116182 How do you think other people see you when you make a mistake? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 0
116181 Has a mistake ever made you think deeply about a problem? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 0
116180 Appointment ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 2
116179 write about your earthquake preparation, and the reasons for it. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 2
116178 homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 841
116177 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 10
116176 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 871
116175 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04