¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-02-05 835

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there needs to be a place to take a rest in order to improve in my city. For example a city forest with nature. And there should be a place to enjoy cultural life. Lastly, It's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic:)

That's true. There should be a place for people to unwind in. Living in a city can be very hectic so having a place to relax in would be perfect. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think there needs to be a place to take a rest in order to improve in my city. 
>> I think there needs to be a place where we can take a rest to improve my city. 

For example a city forest with nature. 
>> For example, there should be a forest in a city so we can see nature. 

And there should be a place to enjoy cultural life. 
>> There should also be a place where  we can enjoy our culture. 

Lastly, It's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)
>> Lastly, it's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117478 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 0
117477 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 608
117476 How do you overcome stress at work? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 744
117475 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1
117474 Good evening! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 525
117473 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 886
117472 About the development of technology. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 633
117471 Discipline method ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117470 Can you give three examples of synonyms? / What are synonyms for? ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 888
117469 Do you spend more free time with family or friends? What do you... ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 532
117468 Do you think people would be less human if they had the organ of... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 842
117467 Homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 666
117466 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 775
117465 What are your weaknesses? Explain in detail. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 744
117464 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 793
117463 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 1096
117462 Homework ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 2
117461 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 728
117460 ESSAY: Parents should be held responsible for their children\'s... Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 662
117459 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-17 849

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04