¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-02-05 1018

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there needs to be a place to take a rest in order to improve in my city. For example a city forest with nature. And there should be a place to enjoy cultural life. Lastly, It's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic:)

That's true. There should be a place for people to unwind in. Living in a city can be very hectic so having a place to relax in would be perfect. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think there needs to be a place to take a rest in order to improve in my city. 
>> I think there needs to be a place where we can take a rest to improve my city. 

For example a city forest with nature. 
>> For example, there should be a forest in a city so we can see nature. 

And there should be a place to enjoy cultural life. 
>> There should also be a place where  we can enjoy our culture. 

Lastly, It's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)
>> Lastly, it's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118321 HOMEWORK. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 614
118320 Deal with money. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 2
118319 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 3
118318 I think this is a trend. We need to be able to use our cards... ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 610
118317 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118316 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 803
118315 How do you feel about tests and examinations? Are they necessary? ÀÌ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 1
118314 2022.4.17 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 592
118313 What do you know about OMAD or one meal a day? How is this... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 0
118312 A stressful job with very high pay or a relaxing job with... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-04-19 678
118311 4/18 homework... ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 523
118310 How is our accent affected by our birthplace? ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 526
118309 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 4
118308 Is there a sport that you would like to try? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 589
118307 Sent e-mail to my colleagues ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 1
118306 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 6
118305 My city doesn\'t have bookstore ÀÌ*³ª ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 811
118304 What quote cheers you up? Please tell me about it. ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 548
118303 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 2
118302 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-04-18 538

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04