¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2022-02-05 723

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there needs to be a place to take a rest in order to improve in my city. For example a city forest with nature. And there should be a place to enjoy cultural life. Lastly, It's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Elic:)

That's true. There should be a place for people to unwind in. Living in a city can be very hectic so having a place to relax in would be perfect. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think there needs to be a place to take a rest in order to improve in my city. 
>> I think there needs to be a place where we can take a rest to improve my city. 

For example a city forest with nature. 
>> For example, there should be a forest in a city so we can see nature. 

And there should be a place to enjoy cultural life. 
>> There should also be a place where  we can enjoy our culture. 

Lastly, It's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)
>> Lastly, it's important to get along well with your neighbors. :)

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116069 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 644
116068 I\\\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 968
116067 Inner beauty À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 234
116066 2022.2.3 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 426
116065 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 493
116064 When was the last time you needed help from someone? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 470
116063 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-02-04 726
116062 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 500
116061 . ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 1122
116060 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 467
116059 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 5
116058 Jacob and Elas ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 2
116057 Taxi sharing to be revived in Seoul after 40 years À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 4
116056 Vacation ÇÏ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 283
116055 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Explain your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 315
116054 What is your favorite tradition in South Korea? Explain your... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 0
116053 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 2
116052 Ph.D. ...? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 11
116051 ESSAY: Is it good or bad to be an only child? Explain. Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 716
116050 What are you looking forward to this 2022 and why? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-03 868

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04