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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What holidays have disappeared in your country?

작성자: 김*윤
2022-02-05 1101

회원님의 영작문

As far as I searched, there are four holidays that coincide with the condition. First, it is Armed Forces Day. Before 32 years ago, it was abolished because there are a lot of holidays in october. Of course, the day was in october. Second, it is Constitution Memorial Day. At that time, many politician think that there are too many holidays and it leads to the reduction of korea's national power. So, before 14 years ago, It was erased. Third, It is Tree-planting Day. Honestly, I don't know exactly why this holiday disappeared. I suppose that it is a similar reason to the the above-mentioned days' reasons. Lastly, there is United Nations Day and it was for celebrating the participation in war of UN. it is also not noted why it disappeared. In fact, I can't empathize with this topic. This is because I'm 18 years old and that events were many years ago. However, this task was useful because I got a lot of information that I didn't know. Thank you for letting me have a good experience.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Kevin!
You are welcome with this idea.  I am happy to know that you have done your research about your holidays.  Well, holidays are made for students and workers to take some rest.  ^^

~T. Maine


As far as I searched, there are four holidays that coincide with the condition.
>>Correct.
First, it is Armed Forces Day.
>>Correct.
Before 32 years ago, it was abolished because there are a lot of holidays in october.
>>Thirty-two years ago, it was abolished because there were a lot of holidays in October.
Of course, the day was in october.
>>Of course, the day was in October.
Second, it is Constitution Memorial Day.
>>Correct.
At that time, many politician think that there are too many holidays and it leads to the reduction of korea's national power.
>>At that time, many politicians thought that there were too many holidays and they led to the reduction of Korea's national power.
So, before 14 years ago, It was erased.
>>So 14 years ago, it was erased.
Third, It is Tree-planting Day.
>>Correct.
Honestly, I don't know exactly why this holiday disappeared.
>>Correct.
I suppose that it is a similar reason to the the above-mentioned days' reasons.
>>Correct.
Lastly, there is United Nations Day and it was for celebrating the participation in war of UN.
>>Lastly, there is United Nations Day and it is a day to celebrate the participation of our country in UN's war.
it is also not noted why it disappeared.
>>It is also not noted why it disappeared.
In fact, I can't empathize with this topic.
>>Correct.
This is because I'm 18 years old and that events were many years ago.
>>This is because I'm 18 years old and those events happened many years ago.
However, this task was useful because I got a lot of information that I didn't know.
>>Correct.
Thank you for letting me have a good experience.
>>Correct.
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