¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Sports Facilities

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ì
2022-02-07 1466

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To improve our city condition, I think sports facilities should be built, because many people in my city like sports, but there are not enough facilities. It will make my city very active.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Alex :)

Wow! That's so efficient. This can help a lot in terms of the health of the people. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

To improve our city condition, I think sports facilities should be built, because many people in my city like sports, but there are not enough facilities. 
>> To improve our city's condition, I think sports facilities should be built because many people here like sports, but there are not enough facilities. 

It will make my city very active.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115598 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 411
115597 If you knew your friend\'s husband or wife was cheating on... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 466
115596 Do you think learning how to play an instrument is important?... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115595 Do you prefer eating out to cooking meal at home? Why or why not? Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 770
115594 What do you think you are best at? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1249
115593 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 724
115592 Why should we eat healthy? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115591 Why I don\'t want to be a teacher. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 399
115590 Why I like the stars than the moon. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 519
115589 Essay (Jan 14th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 604
115588 How do you show love for your country? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 940
115587 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 608
115586 Have a weekend!! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 594
115585 Are businessmen or influencers entitled to their political... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 3
115584 How long can you stay away from your family? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115583 Would life be boring without a risk? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 0
115582 If you could take a vacation anywhere in the world for any... Àå*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1050
115581 homework2 ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 713
115580 Young people skip insurance amid low financial benefits, low... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1
115579 Food far better than pills as source of essential nutrients À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04