¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Sports Facilities

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿ì
2022-02-07 1485

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

To improve our city condition, I think sports facilities should be built, because many people in my city like sports, but there are not enough facilities. It will make my city very active.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Alex :)

Wow! That's so efficient. This can help a lot in terms of the health of the people. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

To improve our city condition, I think sports facilities should be built, because many people in my city like sports, but there are not enough facilities. 
>> To improve our city's condition, I think sports facilities should be built because many people here like sports, but there are not enough facilities. 

It will make my city very active.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115467 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115466 Homework ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115465 Homework (1/10) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115464 homework Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 2
115463 Korea locks in COVID19 pills for 1m people ; here\'s what to know À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115462 What things are irreplaceable? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1496
115461 What things are irreplaceable? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 238
115460 Essay (Jan 11th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 572
115459 > What do you enjoy doing with friends? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 399
115458 sudsidies ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 277
115457 What are some famous places to visit in your birthplace? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 780
115456 What do you do to make yourself fit and healthy? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 356
115455 homework ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 534
115454 Some people get into debt by buying things they don¡¯t need and... ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 3
115453 What is your favorite holiday? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115452 2022.1.10 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 823
115451 If you have a chance of going out with your friends, where do... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1
115450 What advice do you have for people who want to study English? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 0
115449 01.10 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115448 Panic attack ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 925

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04