¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-07 483

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, then, the city will be more peaceful.
A few days ago, one person killed other person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.
This terrible thing happened because of their less polite.
And I think Koreans are not that polite to one another.
So I think we should be more polite to one another.
Of course our living conditions are important, but I think these kinds of problems are more important.
If we think one another more than before, we might be able to change this world more peaceful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

I was shocked with what you said. Some people have very short tempers. I hope this won't happen again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, then, the city will be more peaceful.
>> In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, the the city will be more peaceful.

A few days ago, one person killed other person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.
>> A few days ago, one person killed another person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.

This terrible thing happened because of their less polite.
>> This terrible thing happened because of their impolite attitudes. 

And I think Koreans are not that polite to one another.
>> CORRECT

So I think we should be more polite to one another.
>> CORRECT

Of course our living conditions are important, but I think these kinds of problems are more important.
>> CORRECT

If we think one another more than before, we might be able to change this world more peaceful.
>> If we consider each other more that before, we we might make this world more peaceful. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117627 Why I like more bacon than egg bokkeumbab. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1548
117626 How I keep clean my room ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1041
117625 homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 809
117624 Writing Task(Mar 22th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 695
117623 Writing Task(Mar 21th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 726
117622 Answer to \"What food do you not like to eat?\" ¹Ý*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 0
117621 I would appreciate it if you could check the sentence below. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1086
117620 homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 793
117619 Homework ¹Ú*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 456
117618 Why do many people from different parts of the world want to... Àå*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1227
117617 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 536
117616 1. How is society treating men in sports that are considered... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 5
117615 What culture in South Korea would you like to change and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1494
117614 Which greeting kind of annoys you? ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 876
117613 What is the role of the government in providing more job... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 5
117612 What is your goal in 5 years? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 4
117611 3/22 homework ÀÌ*À¯ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1481
117610 Why do you enjoy learning English? ÃÖ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1482
117609 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1
117608 Studying abraod ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-22 1333

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04