¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think should be done to improve living conditions in your city?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-07 281

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, then, the city will be more peaceful.
A few days ago, one person killed other person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.
This terrible thing happened because of their less polite.
And I think Koreans are not that polite to one another.
So I think we should be more polite to one another.
Of course our living conditions are important, but I think these kinds of problems are more important.
If we think one another more than before, we might be able to change this world more peaceful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

I was shocked with what you said. Some people have very short tempers. I hope this won't happen again. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, then, the city will be more peaceful.
>> In my opinion, we should be more polite to one another, the the city will be more peaceful.

A few days ago, one person killed other person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.
>> A few days ago, one person killed another person only because of bumping into each other's shoulders.

This terrible thing happened because of their less polite.
>> This terrible thing happened because of their impolite attitudes. 

And I think Koreans are not that polite to one another.
>> CORRECT

So I think we should be more polite to one another.
>> CORRECT

Of course our living conditions are important, but I think these kinds of problems are more important.
>> CORRECT

If we think one another more than before, we might be able to change this world more peaceful.
>> If we consider each other more that before, we we might make this world more peaceful. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116175 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116174 Do you think there will be more or less crime in the future?... ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 265
116173 Claire\'s Homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 560
116172 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 4
116171 What is the best lesson you have learned from one of your... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 502
116170 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 621
116169 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 303
116168 Abroad ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 4
116167 Which do you think is better to rent or to buy a property? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 3
116166 Do you become impatient when you have to wait in a long line? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 538
116165 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 663
116164 Writing Essay ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1412
116163 Why kids should follow the school rules. ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 576
116162 If robots really did take over all (or most) jobs, what do you... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1014
116161 online ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 862
116160 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116159 My first vocal lesson ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1123
116158 expression correct ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 1
116157 2022.2.7 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 508
116156 2022.2.4 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-02-08 519

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04