¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Seoul is nice but!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-07 814

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
And me too.
But they don't have any area. Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne:)

I do realize the inconvenience that it brings to non-smokers. This can be really bad for an individuals health so there should be designated places for them to smoke instead. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!
I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
>> I think Seoul is very safe and nice to live in. 

But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
>> But in my opinion, there is one big problem. 

It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
>> It's the smoking areas. Cigarettes have a bad smell.

So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
>> So non-smokers usually hate the smell of it. 

And me too.
>> That includes me. 

But they don't have any area. 
>> CORRECT

Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
>> Many streets are designated as non-smoking areas.

I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. 
>> I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoking areas. 

Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
>> It is because it is not good to see smokers throwing away the cigarette buds on the streets. 

The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.
>> The reason is that Seoul doesn't have many smoking areas.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
116650 My homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 585
116649 Home work ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 328
116648 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 0
116647 What is an editorial page? / Why is it important to read the... ÁÖ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 399
116646 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 541
116645 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 398
116644 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 730
116643 homework ¾ç*ÀÎ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 542
116642 What is your friend\'s bucket list? OR What is a common bucket... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 434
116641 What do you think is the worst invention ever and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 514
116640 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 637
116639 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 2
116638 Homework (2/18) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 0
116637 After Long Vacation ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 976
116636 Korean movies ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 3
116635 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 2
116634 HOMEWORK: When did you learn to tell the time? / What are the... ¼­*¾È ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 688
116633 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 725
116632 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 672
116631 If you had a lot of money, what is the first thing you\'ll buy... ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-02-21 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04