¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Seoul is nice but!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-07 1089

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
And me too.
But they don't have any area. Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne:)

I do realize the inconvenience that it brings to non-smokers. This can be really bad for an individuals health so there should be designated places for them to smoke instead. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!
I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
>> I think Seoul is very safe and nice to live in. 

But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
>> But in my opinion, there is one big problem. 

It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
>> It's the smoking areas. Cigarettes have a bad smell.

So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
>> So non-smokers usually hate the smell of it. 

And me too.
>> That includes me. 

But they don't have any area. 
>> CORRECT

Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
>> Many streets are designated as non-smoking areas.

I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. 
>> I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoking areas. 

Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
>> It is because it is not good to see smokers throwing away the cigarette buds on the streets. 

The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.
>> The reason is that Seoul doesn't have many smoking areas.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117652 HOMEWORK ¹è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 738
117651 More hard study for english ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1185
117650 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 742
117649 What kind of attitude annoys you? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 530
117648 Have you tried roller skate? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 790
117647 Where are the best places to go on vacation in your country? ÅÂ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 754
117646 What do you usually talk about with your friends and family when... ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1006
117645 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 3
117644 What influences you make good choice? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 766
117643 What can you bring to Bloomberg and customer service team? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 594
117642 Why Bloomberg customer service? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 857
117641 What keeps you awake at night sometimes? ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 6
117640 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 432
117639 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 3
117638 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1077
117637 Do you think it is important for men to join the military... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1193
117636 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 1
117635 Let¡¯s go to Jeju-do(island). ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 559
117634 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ÁøÇàÁß 2022-03-23 856
117633 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-23 648

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04