¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Seoul is nice but!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-07 834

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
And me too.
But they don't have any area. Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne:)

I do realize the inconvenience that it brings to non-smokers. This can be really bad for an individuals health so there should be designated places for them to smoke instead. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!
I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
>> I think Seoul is very safe and nice to live in. 

But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
>> But in my opinion, there is one big problem. 

It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
>> It's the smoking areas. Cigarettes have a bad smell.

So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
>> So non-smokers usually hate the smell of it. 

And me too.
>> That includes me. 

But they don't have any area. 
>> CORRECT

Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
>> Many streets are designated as non-smoking areas.

I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. 
>> I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoking areas. 

Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
>> It is because it is not good to see smokers throwing away the cigarette buds on the streets. 

The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.
>> The reason is that Seoul doesn't have many smoking areas.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114929 What is the difference between complaining and nagging? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 0
114928 Try and Choose ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 477
114927 dESIGN apen for a panda À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 3
114926 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 582
114925 Do you think that beautiful people are more successful in life? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 3
114924 Use the verb study to make sentences in different verb tenses. ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 230
114923 What kind of traditional food or beverage do Koreans usually... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 374
114922 How are you going to lose weight? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 2
114921 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 158
114920 Why is doing volunteer work important? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 180
114919 What is sovereignty and why is it important? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 189
114918 Government do it ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 652
114917 If I can remove my memory ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 186
114916 What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are... Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 444
114915 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 744
114914 Songgwangsa ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 2
114913 If i become very rich man, then I will have my restaurant ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 665
114912 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 2
114911 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 541
114910 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-21 377

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04