¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Seoul is nice but!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-07 885

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
And me too.
But they don't have any area. Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Anne:)

I do realize the inconvenience that it brings to non-smokers. This can be really bad for an individuals health so there should be designated places for them to smoke instead. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!
I think Seoul is very safety and nice for living.
>> I think Seoul is very safe and nice to live in. 

But in my opinion one thing is very big problem.
>> But in my opinion, there is one big problem. 

It's smoke area. Cigarettes are have bad smell.
>> It's the smoking areas. Cigarettes have a bad smell.

So non smoker usually hate cigarette smell.
>> So non-smokers usually hate the smell of it. 

And me too.
>> That includes me. 

But they don't have any area. 
>> CORRECT

Many streets are designated as non smoking areas.
>> Many streets are designated as non-smoking areas.

I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoke area. 
>> I'm not smoker but I think we should need more smoking areas. 

Because it's not good to see smoking and throwing away the butt.
>> It is because it is not good to see smokers throwing away the cigarette buds on the streets. 

The reason is Seoul don't have many smoke area.
>> The reason is that Seoul doesn't have many smoking areas.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114710 What is your biggest regret in your life and why? °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114709 What is your biggest regret in your life and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 2919
114708 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1
114707 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 252
114706 Is this sentence grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 334
114705 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114704 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1
114703 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114702 What do you think about coffee shop hopping? Please give details... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 242
114701 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114700 You sent a lot of questions. I did try to post all of the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 197
114699 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 221
114698 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 721
114697 What is the benefit of eating healthy? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 2
114696 What is the most famous place for tourists in your country? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 233
114695 Absolutely language affects thought. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1
114694 Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 277
114693 What is the implication of having an aging population? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 578
114692 What do you think of single adults adopting kids? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 915
114691 Give 5 examples of reptiles you know and you can see in the... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04