¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

online

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-02-08 817

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We are using online apps in many parts of our lives.
Sometimes I am very afraid so many apps because online is an anonymous space.
Online apps are convenient and save time specially to young people.
But it is true that it is very shocking to old people such as this changing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Lily! 
Change is inevitable. Should we resist or accept? Thank you for sharing your thoughts. have a great day
Aki~

We are using online apps in many parts of our lives.
>>> Correct!
OR >>> The use of different apps are already part of or lives.
Sometimes I am very afraid so many apps because online is an anonymous space.
>>> Sometimes, I am very afraid with so many apps because online is an anonymous space.
Online apps are convenient and save time specially to young people.
>>> Online apps are convenient and save time especially to young people
But it is true that it is very shocking to old people such as this changing.
>>> In fact, this is very shocking to the old generation because of the changes brought by these apps.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115176 Why I don\'t want to get outside with barefoot ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 518
115175 Some people say that young people should be free to choose the... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 189
115174 What is the most challenging about moving to a new place? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 272
115173 What are you looking forward to this coming year 2022? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 158
115172 Why is English fluency significant for you? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 144
115171 homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 191
115170 It\'s feel so wierd :) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 517
115169 new years ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115168 awkward feeling ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 558
115167 What factors influence your choice of job? ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 290
115166 Is there any kind of meat you would not eat? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1
115165 Do you like working with the public? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 152
115164 What do you like to do for fun? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 538
115163 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 292
115162 Does art imitate life? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 1
115161 Why do you think people started living in cities? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 152
115160 If you had a long holiday, what will you do with it? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 1
115159 slowly/fast ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-02 0
115158 i want to know what you said º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-01 258
115157 My homework~~^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-31 205

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04