¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

online

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2022-02-08 1152

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We are using online apps in many parts of our lives.
Sometimes I am very afraid so many apps because online is an anonymous space.
Online apps are convenient and save time specially to young people.
But it is true that it is very shocking to old people such as this changing.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Ms. Lily! 
Change is inevitable. Should we resist or accept? Thank you for sharing your thoughts. have a great day
Aki~

We are using online apps in many parts of our lives.
>>> Correct!
OR >>> The use of different apps are already part of or lives.
Sometimes I am very afraid so many apps because online is an anonymous space.
>>> Sometimes, I am very afraid with so many apps because online is an anonymous space.
Online apps are convenient and save time specially to young people.
>>> Online apps are convenient and save time especially to young people
But it is true that it is very shocking to old people such as this changing.
>>> In fact, this is very shocking to the old generation because of the changes brought by these apps.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114030 What do you want to improve about your appearance? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 385
114029 Today diary ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 330
114028 I think adopting pets are much better ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 489
114027 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1113
114026 calling through the phone is better for communication than... °­* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 533
114025 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 405
114024 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 403
114023 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 543
114022 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114021 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114020 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 377
114019 Garden Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 346
114018 What are the things best talked about over a drink? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 359
114017 homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 2
114016 Do you think things will go back to the way they used to before... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 403
114015 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114014 Would you rather sleep or eat when you\'re tired? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 4
114013 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 3
114012 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 384
114011 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 463

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04