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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

If robots really did take over all (or most) jobs, what do you think would happen?

작성자: 황*하
2022-02-08 984

회원님의 영작문

There were 3 major industrial revolution in world history. It gave us many opportunities to produce more goods and made us more convenient in daily lives. However, huge people lost their jobs due to automation. In addition, working hours have been increasing more and more, although, we have adapted new technologies. That's not the results we expected. All scientific development definitely help people in all areas but it also have seriously negative effect such as job loss. Professionals insist that there will be more new jobs in the future even though, factory workers will lose their jobs. Robots will take over simple work but it might not be possible to make judgement, provide mental service and provide baby care services. I guess human want to believe that we are the most valuable species and nothing can replace human's activities. Nevertheless, we have to prepare for our future and must discuss about possible situation. Every revolution went through a period of transition.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Hwang, 

I hope you'll feel better on the next class. 
As I mentioned, I am scared in the evolution of artificial intelligence. 
Though, humans are the ones that can program the ability of robots, I am not in favor of it. 

Teacher Andrea 

There were 3 major industrial revolution in world history.
>> There were 3 major industrial revolution in the world history. 

It gave us many opportunities to produce more goods and made us more convenient in daily lives. 
>> It gave us many opportunities to produce more goods and made our daily life convenient. 

However, huge people lost their jobs due to automation. 
>> However, huge number of people lost their job due to automation. 

In addition, working hours have been increasing more and more, although, we have adapted new technologies. 
>> In addition, working hours have been increasing more and more, although, we already adapted with new technologies. 

That's not the results we expected. 
>> Correct 

All scientific development definitely help people in all areas but it also have seriously negative effect such as job loss. 
>> All scientific developments definitely helped people in all areas but  also have seriously negative effect such as job loss. 

Professionals insist that there will be more new jobs in the future even though, factory workers will lose their jobs. 
>> Professionals insist that there will be more jobs in the future even though factory workers will lose their jobs. 

Robots will take over simple work but it might not be possible to make judgement, provide mental service and provide baby care services.
>> Correct  

I guess human want to believe that we are the most valuable species and nothing can replace human's activities. 
>> I guess humans want to believe that we are the most valuable species and nothing can replace human's activities.  

Nevertheless, we have to prepare for our future and must discuss about possible situation. 
>> Nevertheless, we have to prepare for our future and must discuss about the possible outcomes. 

Every revolution went through a period of transition.
>> Correct 
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