¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your greatest achievement as a student and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-09 384

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, my greatest achievement as a student is finding my own life.
Many people may think that the most important purpose of students is study.
But the purpose of study is searching our own lives, and living our own lives.
But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be took care by their parents.
So I think the biggest achievement of students is study.
And also I am a student, so I think my greatest purpose as a student is discovering my interests, and being ready for my own life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's a good way to see the life ahead of us. You have a very positive perspective. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, my greatest achievement as a student is finding my own life.
>> CORRECT

Many people may think that the most important purpose of students is study.]
>> Many people may think that the most important purpose of a students is to study. 

But the purpose of study is searching our own lives, and living our own lives.
>> But the purpose of studying is to search our purpose in life and live it well. 

But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be took care by their parents.
>> But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be taken care of their parents. 

So I think the biggest achievement of students is study.
>> So, I think the biggest achievement of students is studying.

And also I am a student, so I think my greatest purpose as a student is discovering my interests, and being ready for my own life.
>> I am also a student so I think that my greatest purpose is to discover my interests and be ready for the future. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115410 homework ¹Ú*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 831
115409 What is an alcoholic? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-10 1
115408 Homework (1/7) ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 2
115407 What do you think should be done to improve the living... ±è*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 763
115406 When people are wealthy or successful, do they have a special... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 0
115405 What are the best ways to make a good first impression? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 517
115404 My ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1
115403 Homeless ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1253
115402 Prepare for my audition and interview ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 726
115401 homework ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 0
115400 Tell Me About a Time You Demonstrated Leadership Skills. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 530
115399 Are you good at dealing with colleagues/customers from different... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1915
115398 Do you enjoy taking risks/challenges? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 342
115397 What do you think of a 4 day weekday (Working for only 4 days,... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-09 1290
115396 homework (¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 1452
115395 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 1045
115394 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 291
115393 What do you think should the government do about homeless people? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 737
115392 Is there a conflict between mandatory vaccination and the right... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 2
115391 When was the last time you got sick? Write about it. ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2022-01-08 2829

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04