¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is your greatest achievement as a student and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-09 411

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, my greatest achievement as a student is finding my own life.
Many people may think that the most important purpose of students is study.
But the purpose of study is searching our own lives, and living our own lives.
But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be took care by their parents.
So I think the biggest achievement of students is study.
And also I am a student, so I think my greatest purpose as a student is discovering my interests, and being ready for my own life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's a good way to see the life ahead of us. You have a very positive perspective. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, my greatest achievement as a student is finding my own life.
>> CORRECT

Many people may think that the most important purpose of students is study.]
>> Many people may think that the most important purpose of a students is to study. 

But the purpose of study is searching our own lives, and living our own lives.
>> But the purpose of studying is to search our purpose in life and live it well. 

But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be took care by their parents.
>> But students can't live their own lives yet because they need to be taken care of their parents. 

So I think the biggest achievement of students is study.
>> So, I think the biggest achievement of students is studying.

And also I am a student, so I think my greatest purpose as a student is discovering my interests, and being ready for my own life.
>> I am also a student so I think that my greatest purpose is to discover my interests and be ready for the future. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115000 Love yourself¢½ ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 350
114999 I can\'t choose it:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 438
114998 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 2
114997 Gray for the Unstable Compromise ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 587
114996 Christmas ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 357
114995 What advice would you like to give to your old self and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 303
114994 Do you prefer summer vacation or winter vacations? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 2
114993 What does being rejected feels like? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 0
114992 When was the happiest day of your life and why was it very happy? ¼º*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 321
114991 What advice would you like to give to your old self and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 1
114990 What is the best memory you have in school? Explain in detail. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-24 1
114989 For having a good sleep ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 0
114988 What advice would you like to give to your old self and why? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 1621
114987 We should fix our personalities ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 741
114986 In your country, is it important to consider the age and... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 4
114985 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 1365
114984 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 351
114983 My dream car ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 1
114982 homework (¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 7761
114981 homework ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-23 433

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04