¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Terrible olympic:(

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-10 703

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
But China judge eliminated Korean players.
For Chiness player.
So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
Every Korean get angry and me too.
It's terrible Olympic game.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That's terrible. The votes are completely biased.  :( 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
>> Two days ago, I watched the Olympic skating competition. 

Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
>> Every Korean was shocked when they saw the results. 

Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
>> The Korean players should've passed the finals. 

But China judge eliminated Korean players.
>> But the Chinese judge eliminated the Korean players for the Chinese players. 

For Chiness player.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
>> So, the Chinese players can go to the finals. 

Every Korean get angry and me too.
>> Every Korean is angry because of this. 

It's terrible Olympic game.
>> It's a terrible Olympic game. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
118568 What\'s the best way to protect yourself from getting infected... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 679
118567 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118566 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 714
118565 My daily life ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118564 Right? ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118563 What was your success story in your company? ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 651
118562 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118561 homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 3
118560 Homework : What is your worst experience in life that you can\'t... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 2
118559 Do you care what a restaurant looks like, or is the food the... ½Å*ÈÄ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1
118558 What is your best experience in life? Explain why. ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 657
118557 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 0
118556 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 0
118555 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 518
118554 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 748
118553 home ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 1373
118552 Bad Experience ÃÖ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 837
118551 about discussions with other people À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 576
118550 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 725
118549 HOMEWORK: ¹®*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-04-27 637

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04