¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Terrible olympic:(

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-10 581

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
But China judge eliminated Korean players.
For Chiness player.
So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
Every Korean get angry and me too.
It's terrible Olympic game.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That's terrible. The votes are completely biased.  :( 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
>> Two days ago, I watched the Olympic skating competition. 

Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
>> Every Korean was shocked when they saw the results. 

Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
>> The Korean players should've passed the finals. 

But China judge eliminated Korean players.
>> But the Chinese judge eliminated the Korean players for the Chinese players. 

For Chiness player.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
>> So, the Chinese players can go to the finals. 

Every Korean get angry and me too.
>> Every Korean is angry because of this. 

It's terrible Olympic game.
>> It's a terrible Olympic game. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
117209 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 979
117208 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 0
117207 Horrible things ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1180
117206 I don\'t like any candidate ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1331
117205 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... º¯*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 858
117204 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 2
117203 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 2
117202 The worst travel ever and the lesson. ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 758
117201 Korea Presidential election À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1
117200 I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1484
117199 Homework ÀÓ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1114
117198 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1014
117197 I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1094
117196 we should prepare something if possible. ±è*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1181
117195 I would be appreciated if you review the below sentence. ½Å*±³ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 1062
117194 What is your all-time favorite movie and what can you learn from... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 717
117193 2022.3.9 Àü* ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 954
117192 If you could only read one more book for your entire life, what... ¼Û*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 950
117191 . À±*¹® ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 4
117190 Who do you think is the best candidate for president during this... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-03-10 542

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04