¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Terrible olympic:(

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2022-02-10 591

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
But China judge eliminated Korean players.
For Chiness player.
So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
Every Korean get angry and me too.
It's terrible Olympic game.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

That's terrible. The votes are completely biased.  :( 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

A two days ago I watched the Olympic skating competition.
>> Two days ago, I watched the Olympic skating competition. 

Every Korean got the shocked to see the results.
>> Every Korean was shocked when they saw the results. 

Korean players they were pass the final line perfectly.
>> The Korean players should've passed the finals. 

But China judge eliminated Korean players.
>> But the Chinese judge eliminated the Korean players for the Chinese players. 

For Chiness player.
>> CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

So Chiness players they can going to be a final game.
>> So, the Chinese players can go to the finals. 

Every Korean get angry and me too.
>> Every Korean is angry because of this. 

It's terrible Olympic game.
>> It's a terrible Olympic game. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115218 Late rising. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115217 homework À±*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 312
115216 What do you prioritize when you buy something (brand, price,... ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 394
115215 Electricity price increase to deepen inflation concerns À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115214 new year ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 415
115213 How can traveling be educational? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 758
115212 My homework~~^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 363
115211 What do you usually wish for during your birthday? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 332
115210 What makes an advertisement memorable? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 0
115209 Do you think overpopulation is an important environmental issue? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 1
115208 What are you looking forward to the most this new year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-04 2
115207 What are the beautiful places that you have visited in Korea? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 320
115206 What kind of cause or charity organizations are you particularly... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 432
115205 homework ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 2
115204 Are you willing to work overtime? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 318
115203 What is your lifelong dream? why? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 2
115202 What are your New Year\'s resolutions. ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1073
115201 What are you looking forward to the most this new year? Ȳ*º° ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 1488
115200 my introduce ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 4
115199 About Han river park ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2022-01-03 392

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04