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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

I\'m doing my homework...^^

작성자: 박*형
2022-02-11 1457

회원님의 영작문

What do you think are the good and bad effects of growing up in poverty?

Nowaday, Many apartments with having a lot of amenities have
been building in this city. whenever I see the new apartments, I consider what I move to the apartments which are very high and expensive. And sometimes I asked my sons if you want to move to the apartment they made lately. They answered " I don't care" And they also said "I am so happy now."
Actually, children don't know if they are poor or not. Even if their parents are poor, they are not that. But their parents have to effort to teach how to earn money. Especially, how to invest their salary. And What job is good for their future. We have to say that depend on how many books you read, your future will change.
for one year ago, my second son as closing the book said many good men who is very famous in history in this book lived in poverty. So he smiled I will be a great person.:)
I don't know if it is good answer or not. But...^^

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Miss Rachel!

I am really super thankful that you consistently answer the homework! This is good because it is an additional practice for you especially because out mobile class time is so short. Thank you for sharing some special moments with your son~ That was so precious. I do believe that people from poverty have a strong determination and has many goals in life.

Also you gave a very good and touching answer. Thank you~

Keep it up!
-Teacher Violet

Nowaday, Many apartments with having a lot of amenities have been building in this city. 
>> Nowadays, many apartments with a lot of amenities are being built in this city.

whenever I see the new apartments, I consider what I move to the apartments which are very high and expensive. 
>> Whenever I see the new apartments, I consider moving to the ones which are very high and expensive.

And sometimes I asked my sons if you want to move to the apartment they made lately. 
>> And sometimes, I ask my sons if they want to move into the apartments made lately.

They answered " I don't care" And they also said "I am so happy now."
>> They answered " I don't care" and they also said "I am so happy now."

Actually, children don't know if they are poor or not. 
>> CORRECT!

Even if their parents are poor, they are not that. 
>> Even if their parents are poor, they are not.

But their parents have to effort to teach how to earn money. Especially, how to invest their salary. And What job is good for their future. 
>> But their parents have to make an effort to teach them how to earn money, especially how to invest their salary and what job is good for their future.

We have to say that depend on how many books you read, your future will change.
>> We have to say that the future will change depending on the number of books you read.

for one year ago, my second son as closing the book said many good men who is very famous in history in this book lived in poverty. 
>> One year ago, my second son said, while closing the book, "Many good and famous men in histories in this book lived in poverty".

So he smiled I will be a great person.:)
>> So he smiled and said "I will be a great person".

I don't know if it is good answer or not. But...^^
>> CORRECT!! (It is a great answer!)
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