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Claire\'s Homework

작성자: 박*연
2022-02-14 1263

회원님의 영작문



Homework >>> What would you want to put in your scrapbook if you had one?

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you so much for this Claire. Very well said.

Scrapbooks are recording notes for our memories and are being used to remind happy memories with family or friends in the past. 

>>> OR: Scrapbooks are for recording notes of our memories and are being used to remind us of happy memories with family or friends in the past.  

Scrapbooks can be a gift for having closer relationships with precious people around us. 

>>> correct  

In a hypothetical, if I own a scrapbook, I would like to put many happy and treasured memories I have into it. 

>>>  Hypothetically speaking, if I own a scrapbook, I would like to put many happy and treasured memories I have into it. 

The memories of happy experiences, the important memories in my life, and the memories I want to share.

>>>  correct 

   In the first place, I would keep my memories of happy experiences.

>>> correct  

The first thing to remember about the purpose of making a scrapbook is to remind us of happy memories of the past. 

>>> correct   

For a scrapbook to be a time machine that takes us to the sunny days, it should contain many happy reminiscences. 

>>> correct   

I have some beautiful memories of my past. 

>>> correct   

When I was still a pupil, I was so excited to meet new friends and learn new things on the first day of entering elementary school for the first time. 

>>>   When I was still a pupil, I was so excited to meet new friends and learn new things on the first day of entering elementary school. 

>>> OR: When I was still a pupil, I was so excited to meet new friends and learn new things when entering elementary school for the first time. 

Before entering my first school, I kept opening my backpack, checking if I packed everything I needed. 

>>>  correct   

And when I entered the classroom, I sat on a wooden chair and finally opened my new textbooks. 

>>>  correct      

I could pick up on the tension in the room by everyone’s nervous faces looking at each other awkwardly, a bit quivering. 

>>> correct      

This memory is one of the memories that gave me a strong impression and a memory that I can never whip away. 

>>>  correct   

On that day, my parents took a picture of me, and that photo is still attached to my family photo album. 

>>> correct     

A happy memory like this is worth remembering, and that’s what scrapbooks should do.

>>>  correct   

>>> OR:  A happy memory like this is worth remembering, and that’s what scrapbooks are for.

   In the way happy memories are put into the scrapbook, the important memories in my life are equally important as happy memories. 

>>>   correct   

What crucial memory means is the precious memories to you. 

>>>  correct    

They might be the beautiful memories that make you smile or the sad memories that might make you burst into tears. 

>>>  correct    

For me, for example, the virtual memories are from the present. 

>>> correct     

This year is such an important year for my studies, and for my future. 

>>>  correct    

This year will be remembered as a meaningful memory. 

>>> correct     

In my opinion, the scrapbook should also include essential memories, not only happy memories, as it contains various happenings in one’s life.

>>>   correct 

   Moreover, the scrapbooks contain the experiences we want to share.

>>>  correct  

 If I compare the scrapbook to something, scrapbooks are a portable part of life records. 

>>> correct   

As scrapbooks are suitable for carrying and handing to someone else, the scrapbook can share life stories, for example, to descendants and grandchildren. 

>>> correct   

The scrapbook contains the part of our life in it.

>>> correct  

   Scrapbooks are the records of the life and show us the happy, meaningful memories that need to be shared. 

>>> correct   

Scrapbooks contain happy and precious moments in our lives. 

>>>  correct  

Scrapbooks can remind us of happy memories of the past.

>>>  correct  

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