¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is that one thing that you will not change about yourself and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2022-02-14 789

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, I will not change my thoughts about justice.
I saw a lot of people who did bad things only because of money.
Of course we can earn money, but we should act inside of justice.
But some people get out of justice and do something that they shouldn't do.
And I don't wanna be one of them.
So for me, the one thing that I won't change about myself is the thoughts about justice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:)

That's a good thing that even if you're still young, you know your stand in terms of justice. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

In my opinion, I will not change my thoughts about justice.
>> CORRECT

I saw a lot of people who did bad things only because of money.
>> CORRECT

Of course we can earn money, but we should act inside of justice.
>> Of course we can earn money, but we should act in the side of justice.

But some people get out of justice and do something that they shouldn't do.
>> But some people refuse to do so and they still do things that are illegal. 

And I don't wanna be one of them.
>> CORRECT

So for me, the one thing that I won't change about myself is the thoughts about justice.
>> So for me, the one thing that I won't change about myself  are my thoughts about justice.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
115510 Essay(Jan 12th, 2022) ³²*½Â ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 459
115509 What did you do last weekend? What will you do this weekend? Do... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 4
115508 What are popular things people enjoy doing in your country... Á¤*°æ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 636
115507 Do men typically drink more than women in your country? Why do... ÃÖ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 826
115506 Homework ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 641
115505 Make a sentence using the given -ing words. ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 374
115504 How necessary is it to ask for permission? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 740
115503 Have a nice day! °­*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 527
115502 What can you do to avoid getting sick? ÇÑ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 931
115501 What\'s your favorite holiday food? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115500 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 3
115499 How often do you go shopping? What are the items you normally... ¹®*Çý ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115498 write a short diary entry about a panda keeper\'s life. À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 596
115497 Are you a spontaneous person? What kind of things do you do... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 2
115496 Are you afraid of needles and other surgical tools? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115495 If you could go back in time and give yourself some advice, what... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 1
115494 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2022-01-12 2
115493 Do you think it\'s dangerous to have the wrong information... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 3
115492 Describe your favorite cafe in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 1136
115491 If you can live in another city in South Korea, which one will... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2022-01-11 405

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04