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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Which car brand/model is becoming popular among your peers?

작성자: 김*경
2022-02-15 513

회원님의 영작문

Hyundai Motors(HM) becomes the most popular brand in Korea, and the price of HMs' used car is higher than any Korean automobile brand car. The reasons why HM has been loved by Koreans are as follows: its history, Korean pride, and its technology.
First, HM has played a major role to overcome Korea's poverty after the Korean civil war. I was told that the founder of developed this company indomitably that he could give people a lot of jobs, and contributed to Korea's economy. Therefore Koreans seem to feel grateful for this company, which leads to buying many cars from HM.
Second, there is no doubt thatHM is one of the powerful automobile companies in the world. We are proud that we have global conglomerate companies such as HM.
Third, Hyundai Motors try to repay the favor of people who try to buy Hyundai cars despite some flaws to encourage Hyundai to develop much more with good quality and reasonable price in consideration of its technology and services.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Steve!  You shared a lot about Hyundai Motors. I learned something from your homework. Superb! 

Please take note of the corrections though.

- Debbie

Hyundai Motors(HM) becomes the most popular brand in Korea, and the price of HMs' used car is higher than any Korean automobile brand car. 
>> Hyundai Motors(HM) is becoming the most popular brand in Korea, and the price of an HM used car is higher than any Korean automobile brand. 

The reasons why HM has been loved by Koreans are as follows: its history, Korean pride, and its technology.
>> This is a good sentence.

First, HM has played a major role to overcome Korea's poverty after the Korean civil war. 
>> First, HM played a major role in overcoming poverty in Korea after the Korean civil war.  

I was told that the founder of developed this company indomitably that he could give people a lot of jobs, and contributed to Korea's economy. 
>> I was told that the founder indomitably developed this company and that he gave people a lot of jobs and contributed to Korea's economy. 

Therefore Koreans seem to feel grateful for this company, which leads to buying many cars from HM.
>> Therefore, Koreans seem to feel grateful for this company, which leads to buying many cars from HM.

Second, there is no doubt thatHM is one of the powerful automobile companies in the world. 
>> Second, there is no doubt that HM is one of the most powerful automobile companies in the world. 

We are proud that we have global conglomerate companies such as HM.
>> This is a good sentence.

Third, Hyundai Motors try to repay the favor of people who try to buy Hyundai cars despite some flaws to encourage Hyundai to develop much more with good quality and reasonable price in consideration of its technology and services.
>> Third, Hyundai Motors tries to repay the favor from people who try to buy Hyundai cars despite some flaws. Hyundai develops cars with much more quality and reasonable prices in consideration of its technology and services.

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